Heavy are these Bricks
Below is a personal psalm written by one of our partners during his time in Redemption Groups.Heavy are these Bricks I carry on my back.The straps cut and chafe from the load.There is no position of relief and each of my burdens shift, jab, prod as a reminder they are so very close.I dare not stop to rest on this trail where my every step is precarious.A thousand miles to go I fear...Mouth dry and my head spinning,I prod for my legs to take one more step.The ground rises to an impossible incline before my very eyes and I panic when I see my leg falter and slip despite my pleas.These Bricks of mine writhe and twist with delight saying,"This time, this time we'll crush him for sure!"As I fall there is the welcoming sense of reprieve that I recall from before.The wind rushes and cools the sweat on my face and the load lifts away from my battered back.I'm thankful for the momentary distraction yet it's never enough and I'm reminded of the tears, the blood, the inevitable.It always comes all too soon.
I look up and see your hand held out.
I had forgotten you were there, so focused was I on the ground and each step I had to take.Through tear-filled eyes I shake my head as before.Wanting so much to show you how strong I was,So very ashamed to place my burdens into those pierced hands."C'mon, don't be afraid," you say.I'm humiliated and angry at these words--I'm not afraid!You know me well I realize, as I find myself taking your hand.I feel your firm grip, I see your broad shoulders, and sense your rock steady gait.The anger is gone as fast as it came;Maybe I'm not as courageous as I had thought."Who told you to carry that burden?""I don't know," I stammer,"I thought it was mine alone to carry.""That you would be proud of me when I came to the end."You don't lessen Your grip on me and You lift me up with great ease.I see smile lines at Your eyes and mouthBut there is no hint of mockery there.How had I not noticed that before?I look down at the bricks and see they are still and silentThey are only dusty old rocks I had picked up along the way.I'm able to look up now.I feel the cool breeze.The path isn't barren as I'd once thought and I see life all around me.You guide me to even ground.I find that I can't wait to see what You have laid out for me over the next hill.