Rid of My Disgrace by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
Open to chapter one, and the first thing readers are met with is grace. The line “This book is written to you - not about you” sets the tone, letting readers know they will be seen and understood in their experienced pain of sexual assault.
The first page speaks truth over the reader, answering the lies survivors of SA hear or tell themselves. "You are not worthless. You are not damaged. You are not responsible for what happened to you." These invite readers to see what God sees and to be reclothed as his child.
The book walks through the main struggles survivors face: denial, distorted self-image, shame, guilt, anger, and despair. It explains how each one surfaces and why it exists. And the authors never hand out a popular verse hoping readers feel better. They sit with the reader in the mix of emotions and communicate that it is okay to take up space and feel what one feels. Like a friend or a biblical counselor, they grieve alongside the reader—yet they always point to hope, showing God's sacrificial love through the gospel. For anyone who has walked with survivors or carried a measure of this trauma, there is real healing to be found in these pages.
Two elements that stand out most are the statement, “We are powerless to heal ourselves,” and the chapter on despair. That statement lifts the responsibility to heal out of human hands and places it into the hands of the One who loves perfectly and can carry it. It serves as a reminder that turning to him is all he asks, and that he can be trusted to bring healing. Furthermore, the chapter on despair offers rare, deep understanding. It speaks directly to a place few resources reach, showing that Jesus is present even in despair and will not leave anyone there.
Who should read this book? If you have experienced SA, read it. If you know someone who has experienced SA, read it. It will teach you to love survivors well. And if you are a survivor worried about triggers, know that the stories set between the chapters carry real detail and may be hard depending on where you are in healing. But the chapters themselves are informative and hope-filled, encouraging from start to finish.