Jesus' Church: Ty Bowden

Ty Bowden is a part of the South University City Group and fights for city renewal through The NET. This is his story. This is what Jesus is doing in his church.When I arrived in Fort Worth and at TCU three years ago, I was a vastly different person than I am today. At first glance, I don’t appear to be too different from the guy I was in high school (besides the facial hair), but the truth is that my heart has been, and is continuing to be, transformed drastically. At this point in my life, I very much enjoy just reflecting on what God has done in me and through me and the grace He’s shown me through those things.My freshman year of college I bounced from church to church a lot, just going for a few Sundays at a time and not investing anywhere. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I finally visited The Paradox and was hooked. For the first time in college, I had found a Christian community that I desired to be a part of. For the last two years at The Paradox, I have been pushed, with love, towards holiness and the cross. I have learned and grown way more than I ever thought I would (and if I’m honest, more than I wanted to when I first started coming to Paradox).

"...I have been pushed, with love, towards holiness and the cross."

The biggest thing that the Spirit has shown me through the church here is what it looks like to daily walk in a lifestyle of repentance. Growing up, I had a rough idea of what repentance was, but no actual picture of what it looked like or the joy and freedom it brings. I knew in my head that works couldn’t save me or atone for my sins, but functionally I always had a mental checklist of things that I should or shouldn’t do that would make me a better person. Through Pastor Jim, the discipleship of a few other people, and going through Redemption Groups, I began to see my faith, not as a checklist of things to do or not do, but as a quest to look more like Jesus through repentance and constantly turning back to the cross.The freedom that came with that was overwhelming: knowing that my salvation and relationship with God is not dependent on me still brings me a flood of peace every time I remind myself of it. It put to death the frequent seasons of my life where I would run hard from God as I tried to clean myself up by reading the Bible more or trying not to cuss or listening to a sermon podcast to become presentable to Him. Instead I know I can’t do anything but confess and repent and then rejoice in the fact that Jesus has already made me clean.

"I had a rough idea of what repentance was, but no actual picture of what it looked like or the joy and freedom it brings."

Growing up in a smaller Texas town outside of Fort Worth, I always thought I would live in the city for college and immediately get the heck out, back to where things are a little slower and quieter. I didn’t want to be bothered to live in a place where people were visibly hurting and feel compelled to serve or love them. I viewed investing in my city as an inconvenience that could be avoided by moving out. However, through the Nehemiah series and some of my friends who were already serving the city, God has completely transformed my heart to invest in and serve the people of Fort Worth, particularly the impoverished and oppressed. In high school I was a “nice kid”, but I was also quietly selfish. I didn’t have any desire for the long-term, committed work that city renewal and relationship-based ministry can be.

"God has completely transformed my heart to invest in and serve the people of Fort Worth, particularly the impoverished and oppressed."

However, God’s grace has totally changed my view and helped me see these people like He does. Getting to serve with The NET the past few months has totally unlocked a passion and vision that the Lord has given me for the people of Fort Worth. These people, the homeless, oppressed, and poor, are image bearers of Christ, just like we are. I always heard about how Jesus came and ate with the sinners and the dirty and the sick, but until recently I had no desire to do the same. Now, my heart is broken for the women stuck in the sex industry and the men who exploit them. I see that it is literally only by God’s grace that I get to go to TCU and have a great community of family and friends who love me, instead of being on the streets or exploiting women myself.It hasn’t necessarily been an easy road to learn these things and be shaped into who I am today. Last year, in the span of six months, my family lost both my dad’s parents and my mom’s best friend, who left a husband and four kids behind. I also learned the hard way the effects my own sin can have on friendships I care deeply about. I tried to heal myself from habitual sin. Through all of these things, I was pretty miserable. At first I didn’t see a purpose or a reason behind any of the suffering I was experiencing. However I got to see the Lord teaching me to rely on Him and Him alone. I couldn’t fix any of those situations on my own, so I had to lean in and trust the Holy Spirit to guide and comfort me and my family. Serving with The NET now, that lesson has been invaluable. God has given me a vision of changing men’s hearts to stop the demand for commercial sex in Fort Worth: a vision that, without complete and total reliance on Him, will absolutely fail.

"God has given me a vison of changing men’s hearts to stop the demand for commercial sex in Fort Worth: a vision that, without complete and total reliance on Him, will absolutely fail."

So the trip hasn’t been a spiritual walk in the park, but oh, has it been worth it. Lately I’ve had a peace that could come from nowhere else. I’ve been rejoicing and repenting in my community of friends, including my awesome South University City Group. Through all of the things I’ve learned and dealt with, I’ve noticed one big thing: doing life without the community and fellowship of the church and other believers makes everything a lot harder. There is a freedom and joy that comes from being known by other people in the church as they push me back to Jesus.It’s often said that God’s kindness should lead us to repentance–I had a hard time understanding that until recently. As I’ve been grown to see more of His grace, it has deeply impacted my entire life, especially the parts I’ve talked about in this post. There’s a theme of grace, growth, and repentance that have shaped who I’m becoming. I’ve gone from a self-centered, shallow Christian, to a follower of Christ who wants to serve others, walk in the light, and seek first the Kingdom. The Paradox has been instrumental in this growth, and I couldn’t be more grateful that God has seen fit to place me in this family.

"I have an awesome community that will fight with me and push me to Jesus, and a God that I see as a loving Father, with his arms wide open."

I know most of this story is positive and worth celebrating, but that doesn’t mean I’ve arrived. God has done an incredible amount of awesome things in my life and in my heart over the last two or three years, but I still have a long way to go before He’s finished and perfected His work in me. I have to fight pride every day, I still get caught in patterns of sin that steal my joy, and I am constantly surrounded by worldly temptation that I don’t always resist. The difference from three years ago is that now I have an awesome community that will fight with me and push me to Jesus, and a God that I see as a loving Father, with his arms wide open.