What Do You Love More Than Jesus? | Week 6

During the Fall 2019 cycle of Redemption Groups, we’ve tasked an anonymous blogger with sharing their experience. The goal is to give you a taste of the power of Jesus that we get to see a glimpse of in Redemption Groups, and help you see why they are essential for the life of a TPC partner. This is the sixth of 7 entries.

These posts will only include the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of the anonymous blogger.

“What do you love more than Jesus?”

This was the question we were asked this week. I thought to myself. What came to mind and what made the most sense to me is that I love my emotions more than Him. I have tended to believe my emotions over Him.

Though a gift from God, my emotions are not to be worshipped. And that’s the thing with gifts from Him, we so often prefer them over Him, the One who gifted us with them.

Next in line would probably be my spouse. Who is a clear gift from God to me. But the moment I let my spouse become my savior is the moment I am disappointed. No offense to my spouse, but all glory to Christ for being the perfect everything to ever turn to. As well as my emotions, which are a little bit harder for me to come to grips with. Because naturally, I rely so much more on myself than on anyone else, even God Himself.

So, especially in lieu of that question that was asked, I see in a new light how much I have treated my feelings as my ultimate guide.

Even deeper for example, when my spouse and I got engaged I leaned on my own emotions to weigh the decision I was making in choosing this person for the rest of my life. I couldn’t “feel” God tugging on my heart or sense any direction necessarily from Him saying it was a right or wrong decision. I got depressed in the process, because my emotions had been my ultimate compass for so long. So when a good emotion wasn’t present about something, I often wrote it off as “bad”.

But my emotions are not to be trusted, over God.

He created emotions and they are a helpful, beautiful gift from Him. But I know that I have worshipped my own feelings and trusted myself and my interpretations of the world around me above His steady and sometimes silent truth.

Sometimes His presence and truth are not found in my felt senses and that is something I am coming to terms with in this season of life… My emotions make a very lousy god in every way. Just like my little life, they are often here today and gone tomorrow.

And in comparison, God is the steady One, the never changing One, the all knowing One, the ever present One, and ultimately He the ANSWER to every question that is wrapped up in my complex and fleeting feelings. HE is God and oh how I want to repent more and love Him more and more as I recognize where I have misdirected my worship.

May Jesus, the God of my emotions, break my heart and even make me more emotional over the sin of trusting my emotions more than Him.